Carrying The One: Surviving Elementary School Mathematics

It's a time of new backpacks and sneakers. Children wonder who their classmates will be and who their teachers are. If you're like me, your major hope is that this year will be different. You imagine a year that sparks joy and a love of learning, and maybe even a report card with passing grades. You just want your child to feel accomplished and proud.  We know that helping at home is essential. And as parents of children who struggle in math it's something that we know very well. We ask teachers for resources all the time. We do everything we know how to do. But most days it's like we are just treading water. Other days we want to give up altogether.  What is the best way to help a child who is 1 or 2 years behind their peers in math.? The class is multiplying while your child still forgets the numbers 12 and 13 when counting by ones. How do we prevent the gap from growing?  There are some things that we know now about the brain and how children learn that we didn'

Sometimes angels walk among us.  They first appeared to us as kindergarten teachers after a long road of constant battle. For two years, every parent meeting with her teachers and day care providers had been the same. A retelling of the latest things that happened in class, a list of the undesirable behaviors, and ways we could address them at home.  In daycare she infuriated her teachers. After a few months I could feel the resentment ooze from them at each afternoon pickup. " You're going to big kid school next year. You can't act like that there, " they'd say to her. It left her with nightmares and potty regressions. " Mommy, I don't want to be sent away to the big kids. Big kids are scary. Please don't make me go. " Eventually, she was separated from her peers and spent her days with the infants instead. I would pick her up and find her playing teacher to a group of "students" in high chairs. I was always amazed by the compassion an

I thought I knew how to teach math until I became a mom.  Every strategy, every intervention, didn't help the screaming 6 year old that just wanted to escape to the next room to play with her dolls. She tried every tactic in her arsenal. She cried. She snuggled. She changed the subject. She simply wore me out.  I spent years in the classroom; countless hours in classes and workshops, reading books and creating lessons. I had passion and expertise. I had two decades of experience working with children who struggle in math. Every measure proved that I was an exemplary educator.  But none of that mattered as I sat next to our daughter at our kitchen table. Her father sitting nearby reminding her to " get back there and finish your work ," every time she tried to squirrel away undetected. There were tears. So many tears.  She was failing. And I was failing her.  When she was three, we sang songs. Her favorite was "One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Once I Caught A Fish Alive&q